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"It never seems to amaze me" (as Bobby Brown once said), how unfathomably unfunny most comedy is these days. One quick glance at the Sunday comics or ten minutes of prime time sitcoms and you start to realize we are living in a world composed primarily of Christian secretaries who have never seen a dick or heard the word "nigger"; a society where simply screaming,
"Arrrgh! Mondays!!!" is considered hilarious. That's petrifying, no? That's the kind of scary that made The Stepford Wives and Invasion of the Body Snatchers huge hits. What ever happened to a thing called "the laugh"?
What about when we would literally shit our pants to records by Bill Hicks or Redd Foxx or Lenny Bruce or Richard Pryor? What about the laughs from those high school parties you went to when you were 14. Remember? There'd be about seven people in the backyard and after you and your friends smoked enough pot to kill a dog, that one, kind-of-crazy-but-still-smart-guy in the gang is more "on" than he's ever been and he's slaying everyone and they're literally shitting their pants and you're all bent over, FUCKING DYING, and you have a moment of clarity and you think to yourself "why can't this be on TV? Why can't everyone in the world be seeing this. They would fucking DIE."
That's when a bald, redneck Jewboy from Atlanta shows up and says "they didn't literally shit their pants, you asshole," and you realize all is not lost. A good comic is a reminder that we all feel the same way about the Sunday funnies and sitcoms. That's why I think people piss their pants so hard at David Cross shows. 50% of it is because the jokes are spot-on and are genuinely, mathematically funny and the other 50% is sheer elation that we were wrong about laughs being banished from earth. He is that guy from the backyard only tonight it's not 7 people it's 700. And they're all shitting their pants.
To see such an outcast (you try growing up a wiseass Yankee Jew in the deep south with nothing but sisters to get your back) talk so much negative shit about people with so much venom, and to have it come out as a heart-warming example that we're not alone and we all feel ostracized by virgin secretaries, is something only a huge fucking faggot like David Cross could pull off. (Just kidding.) (About the fag part, I mean.)Courtesy of Sub Pop Records
Stand Up! is pleased to offer limited edition vinyl of this modern day comedy classic. Appropriately, the three records come in red, white and blue, adorned by a beautiful gatefold sleeve. Grab it while you still can!
1. Lunch With Frankenstein 2. Austin Powers Saying "Yeah Baby" 3."You Go, Girl!" 4. Phone Call from a Cranky Terrorist 5. Sex on the Internet!? 6. Spiderman vs. Batman vs. Wonder Woman on the Rag 7. Shaving the Pope's Pussy 8. Monica Lewinsky and the Three Bears 9. Fake Tits/Real Beer 10. My Wife's Crazy! 11. Flying on a Mexican Plane 12. Abortion Doctor from Hell! 13. Socks and Shoes 14. My Daughter's First Date 15. Diarrhea Moustache 16. If Baseballs Had AIDS on Them 17. Goodnight Assholes!
Bonus MP3s (downloadable only): David Cross Live David Cross Live Part 2Courtesy of Sub Pop Records
David Cross "It's Not Funny" LP
Recorded in January of 2004, during a four-night, eight-show stand in Washington, DC, It's Not Funny is the follow-up to David's Grammy Award Losing (to Weird Al's Poodle Hat!) album, Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! "A truth teller in the noble tradition of Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor and Lenny Bruce, Cross aims not just to entertain, but to challenge, provoke, and shake his audience out of its complacent stupor…as urgent and outraged as a Noam Chomsky lecture, but infinitely more entertaining" (The Onion). "Simply put, David Cross is the gentlest, kindest, and most sanitary man I have ever met" (Dave Eggers).
1. Certain Leaders in Government Look or Act like Certain Pop Culture References! 2. Women, Please Rinse Off Your Vagina and Anus! 3. A Rapid Series of Comical Noises! 4. I've Taken a Popular Contemporary Pop Song and Changed the Lyrics to Comment on the Proliferation of Starbucks in My Neighborhood! 5. Although Indigent, Rural Families Have Little to Say in the Matter, Third Rate Public Education Has Kept Them Ignorant and Thus, Great Sources of Ridicule! 6. My Child is Enthralling, Especially When It Says Something Unexpectedly Precocious Even Though It Doesn't Understand What It Just Said! 7. My Immigrant Mom Talks Funny! 8. When It Comes to Jews, Behavior One Might Perceive as Obnoxious and Annoying I Present as "Quirky" but It's Okay to Joke About It Because I, Myself, Am Jewish! 9. Pandering to the Locals! 10. Even Though I Am in the Closet, That Won't Prevent Me from Getting Cheap Laughs at the Expense of Homosexuals! 11. Weathermen Have Become, for the Most Part, Obsolete! 12. When All is Said and Done, I am Lonely and Miserable and Barely Able to Mask My Contempt for the Audience as I Trot Out the Same Sorry Act I've Been Doing Since the Mid-Eighties!Courtesy of Sub Pop Records
