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JACKIE KASHIAN Jackie Kashian has been a national touring comic for over 10 years. She has appeared on NBC, VH1, and A&E (Comedy on the Road - back in the 1700's). She has performed at prestigious comedy festivals around the country including: the HBO Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Bumbershoot Arts Festival and the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal. Most of Jackie's credits on the television are for stand-up, but she can act. Sure, she's only done one TV show (an airport cop who busted Jim Dial with a big bag of pot on Murphy Brown), but she takes classes and stuff so as to be prepared.
In 1985, Jackie got drunk and heckled Sam Kinison in Madison, Wisconsin. She was told, with some sarcasm, by management, that open mike night was on Sundays. A charming fairytale so begun, has not, as first feared, lead to jailtime.
Jackie's standup is a mixture of story telling and sharp commentary which most people relate to which is tragically funny since she is the youngest of six children, and was raised by wolves. Wolves that meant well and did their best.
Jackie enjoys video games, go-carts and other traditionally tiny-child activities in an ongoing attempt to block out reality. Also; wicker gives her the creeps. Now you know too much. You will be silenced.
Jackie Kashian "It's Never Going to be Bread" CD
You've gotta draw the line somewhere. In this age of Facebook and Linkedin, there's got to be some point where you put your foot down and cut out some friends. And for Jackie Kashian, that line's just in front of the war re-enactors. That's right, up to but not including the war reenactment guys, she's willing to wade into the Dork Forest. That means she'll still befriend Pokemon kids, Star Wars guys, Renaissance Festival freaks, Beanie Baby people, Twihards, and Harry Potter himself, but once you tell her you're gonna go eat some hard tack in the forest for the weekend (''No girls allowed!''), you're off the goddamned list. Too bad for you, sucker, 'cause Jackie Kashian would be an awesome friend (hell, to one very special action figure collector, she's even a life-time naked friend).
Hailing from South Milwaukee (''just east of Milwaukee, obviously''), Kashian's got deep Midwestern roots, made visible in the great affection and ease she shows on her new CD ''It is Never Going to be Bread,'' recorded live in Minneapolis, MN. She's not political or mean-spirited, hippie-dippy, drug-addled, or a yeller. And she's sure as hell no Cathy cartoon. Instead, Kashian's the bitchin' super-nerd we all wished we'd grow up to be. Whether she's gushing about her favorite video games (hint: the ones with the worst plots are at the top of her list '' If they had a video game where you stabbed babies, well, that would be awful, but I'd be in my room, stabbing away!''), bemoaning the entire existence of North Platte, NE (''I hate them, I hate their children, I won't eat their cattle''), or lovingly pointing out that her husband could have come to the wedding in his underpants and carrying a porkchop and she would have said the vows, Kashian comes off as a class act with a quick wit and seamless delivery. We take it back, we *still* wish we could grow up to be Jackie Kashian. ''It is Never Going to be Bread'' is out now from Stand Up! Records and available from fine e-tailers near you.
1. Traveling 2. Origin Story 3. Married 4. Art Guy 5. Video Games 6. Dork Forest 7. Guy Funny 8. Car And Technology 9. George W. Bush 10. Old Man 11. Cake And Chicken 12. Normal Vampires & Parade Rainers 13. Animals 14. Massage T-Shirt 15. Post Close Warm-Down Bonus Tracks: 16. Party! 17. Minneapolis-centric 18. What Stand-up Comedy is Like
