Patton Oswalt
	Patton Oswalt has been headlining at comedy clubs all over the United States since 1996, as well as appearing in his own standup specials on Comedy Central and HBO. He was chosen as Entertainment Weekly's "It" comedian in 2002. He is a regular on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien." His other television credits include appearances in "Seinfeld" and "NewsRadio." Patton has appeared in over twenty movies, including Magnolia, Reno 911!: Miami and the documentary The Comedians of Comedy, which he also created and produced. On the set of Blade: Trinity, Wesley Snipes would only answer Patton if Patton called him “Blade2”. In addition to playing the character “Spence” for nine seasons on the CBS sitcom The King of Queens, he’s a frequent guest on Late Night with Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Kimmel Live. He’s also a recurring voice actor on Kim Possible, SpongeBob SquarePants, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Crank Yankers, and video games like the Grand Theft Auto series. He gets killed in a lot of those. He’s also appeared on programs like Seinfeld, Mr. Show and Newsradio, where he wasn’t killed. Oswalt is also a regular columnist for The New York Times Magazine, and was an un-credited writer on the Borat movie. This summer, he’s the lead voice in the new Pixar film, Ratatouille, playing a rat named Remy who dreams of being a chef in Paris. We were going to try to write a joke or something here, but that last one’s flat-out awesome.
	Patton Oswalt "Werewolves and Lollypops" ''Thanks so much for coming out. I'm drunk, here we go!'' Thus begins your magical date with the enchanting, beguiling, and utterly demented Patton Oswalt. Stand Up! Records is pleased as punch to bring you ''Werewolves and Lollipops,'' now out on a limited-edition of five hundred vinyl LP, each shining jewel of comedic genius all polished up for your pure listening enjoyment. Look, you already know that Patton Oswalt's awesome. His resume's amazingly impressive, boasting hundreds of stand up performances, a couple dozen movies (hell, he voiced the lead in a damn Oscar winner!), and television glory. He has literally tens of fans. We don't need to sell you on Patton. So, instead, we're going to whet your appetite with some choice phrases, fresh from the elfin filth-monger's very lips! • Brian Dennehy comes up behind me like an Archangel and says, ''Character actors! Who gives a f*ck if we're fat!'' • Wait for the wintery freshness of mace, 'cause it's coming. • I'd like a failure pile in a sadness bowl! • Science! We're all about coulda, not shoulda. • Give your mom a fish, and let's go to the White House. • If Paris Hilton could get cancer of the AIDS of the leukemia, that'd be awesome. • My geekiness is starting to get in the way of my nerdiness. • For 3 years, all I knew was Chewbacca was real and black people don't kill you for your cell phones. • I still miss the dating scene, because it's a fun nightmare. It's a nightmare with boners in it. As you'll no doubt recognize, only a true comedic genius could connect the dots, creating the masterpiece of wit, wisdom, and brilliant ridiculousness we call ''Werewolves and Lollipops.'' For doing the work-and possibly the drugs-to bring home this wide-ranging, bewildering, and pitch-perfect record, Stand Up! Records extends our heart-felt thanks to Patton Oswalt.
1. Here We Go 2. America Has Spoken 3. Beautiful People And A Bridge Troll 4. Clean Filth 5. The Miracle Of Childbirth 6. You Are Allowed 20 Birthday Parties 7. The Dukes Of Hazzard 8. Alternate Earth 9. Best Week Never 10. Physics For Poets 11. At Midnight I Will Kill George Lucas With A Shovel 12. Bubble Of Sanity 13. Sterling, Virginia 14. Racist Cell Phones 15. The Best Baby In The Universe 16. Married & Single 17. I Tell A Story About Birth Control And Deal With A Retarded Heckler 18. Great Food Is Cooked By Psychos 19. Wackity Schmackity Doo! 20. Death Bed 21. Cirque Du Soleil
	Patton Oswalt "Feelin' Kinda Patton" Patton Oswalt watched a man shave his balls, and he's fixin' to tell you about it. Reminiscent of the arrival of legendary shockers like George Carlin and Bill Hicks, Patton Oswalt's first CD (available for the first time in vinyl LP format), 2004's ''Feelin' Kinda Patton,''� put him on the radar as a standard-bearer for the new generation of comedians. Oswalt counts among his peers David Cross, Sarah Silverman, and Jim Gaffigan - the sort of young comedians who, as Oswalt illuminates with a surreal and utterly brilliant monologue stolen verbatim from Dr. Pepper (a drug-addled open mic night standout from Toronto), once thought they were the ultimate in envelope-pushing, until they were faced with flat-out crazy. Of that group, Oswalt may have found the most mainstream entertainment success, thanks to a stint on the sitcom King of Queens and a turn as Remi the Rat, lead character in the Oscar-winning animated film Ratatouille, but ''Feelin' Kinda Patton'' reminds listeners that not even adults should be left alone in a room with this devious and tainted little man. For all the spit-polish producers can put on him when the spotlight beckons, raw Patton is stunning here from the opener to the very last howl of the set. Oswalt's particularly on point when he takes on impressions; without aiming for mimicry, his send-up of the ambient insanity of the pop-culture in which each and every one of us is steeped is enough to take down even the most stoic listener. Mining hilarity in the everyday, Patton Oswalt, elfin filth-monger, steers clear of politics in this exuberant leap over the edge, skillfully taking each bit to its illogical conclusion and beyond and deftly handling distractions by simply following the tangent off the deep end. If that isn't enough wait until you get a load out of the new LP cover art, a six color silk-screen by Mike 2600 of Burlesque Design, featuring a cut out playset of characters pulled straight out of Patton's performance. What are you waiting for? This limited edition of 500 is sure to go out of print quickly.
1. The Sadness Begins 2. A Man Shaves His Balls 3. Facts About Midgets 4. How We Won the War 5. When You Buy a Humvee 6. America the Retarded Trust-Fund Kid 7. A Bl***ob Behind the Tilt-a-Whirl 8. The Apocalypse 9. Your Moment of Irony 10. "We're Here, We're Queer...!" 11. The Gay Pride Parade 12. The Winning Team 13. "Two More Sips!" 14. Liquor Ads 15. The World's Most Amazing Father 16. I Hate Hippies 17. 80's Metal 18. The Poetry of Pornography 19. Steak 20. A Brief History of Sh**ty Comedy 21. Toronto Open Mic 22. Tivo! 23. My Christmas Memory 24. Stella D'oro/Robert Evans/Goodnight 25. P**s Drinkers 26. Tom Carvel 27. The Magic of Oil Painting 28. Easter Eggs