TOM RHODES
	Tom Rhodes’ soft southern drawl is just barely detectable in his meandering stage voice, and his arms swing freely around a body that is constantly in motion. Tom Rhodes has improved a lot as a comedian since he began as a teenager. When he speaks, it's in a mellifluous manner that suggests higher education, but Rhodes is somewhat proud that the last class he attended was in a public high school. He credits his knowledge and passion for learning to a talented group of teachers: "I was poisoned with Kerouac, Muhammad Ali, Gandhi, the Beatles. They did it for me." His humor thrives on information and intelligence. Never settling for jokes about broken toasters or remote controls, Rhodes would rather brood over race and culture. He's now lopped off his mane in favor of a shorter crop, which when accompanied with a suit makes Rhodes resemble a Wall Street nine-to-fiver. Rhodes can look back at the things that were the seeds of his comedy career. He's gone from taking a Greyhound bus to gigs to being flown first class on Virgin. He started off as an opener at hell holes throughout the south and now headlines in Paris and San Francisco. He says that he "never considered doing anything else, ever. And I have no other talent; I'd probably be the dude on highway construction holding the 'Slow' sign." A Dutch network, not-so-cleverly named Yorin Television, had been attempting an American-style late-night show, with minimal success. Dutch personalities could not pull off the late-night yakker that Yorin wanted, so the TV execs sought out an American. They saw Rhodes perform in Amsterdam, and within weeks Tom Rhodes had a show. Not only was Rhodes the head writer, he was the only writer. He wore a suit and had a monologue at the top of every show, and they took a little pressure off of him by giving him an on-air alias. The show was called Kevin Masters starring Tom Rhodes . Who's Kevin Masters? Who cares? Certainly not Rhodes: "I got to live out my Johnny Carson dream. I had the musical sidekick; I talked about whatever I wanted for four or five minutes at the top of the show. It was great." Rhodes is seriously funny, and he is a good comedian, but what seems to be the selling point is the freedom and the power of being a standup. Tom Rhodes gets a microphone while everyone else listens. Or as he says, "It's being able to stand flat-footed in America and tell it like it is." "It's weird," Rhodes hesitates. "When I was a kid, I used to read about Dutch explorers." Another pause; "And now I am one." He started the trip in his parents station wagon, and so far his words have taken him all over America and throughout much of the world. Rhodes' destination is still undeclared, but as his teacher Mr. Kerouac said, it's the journey that matters.
	Tom Rhodes "Hot Sweet Ass" Hot sweet ass, Houston, hot sweet ass. If you're looking for a new catch phrase, you've found it, and if you're looking for a new CD addiction, you're probably on the right track there, too. Tom Rhodes' Hot Sweet Ass is about to hit heavy rotation. With his uncanny ability to deliberately pace and savor just those three little words enough to set off a crowd's worth of giggling, Rhodes scampers through a set covering the Lord's outlook on VD to a penguin's unerring recognition of his lovely penguin lady-friend in a sea of other penguins. Without ever veering into malice, Rhodes seems to choose just the right sparing words to bring out the funniest moment in every situation, making his foray into a purely audio medium particularly satisfying. In essence, Rhodes is not a comedian you need to see to catch on to the inherent energy and feel of his show. Sure, you might imagine him a little differently than he really is while kicking back with Hot Sweet Ass -- you'll likely picture longer hair, dingier jeans, and a decidedly laid-back smirk (and you'll be right about the smirk) as he adventures through Amsterdam, prays for 100 degree days (so that his dad will turn on the air conditioning), vehemently scrubs his nether regions, makes love to an atheist, and wishes his junior high teacher's penchant for scratching himself hadn't gotten in the way of his mastery of algebra. No matter what you're picturing, though, what you're hearing is sure to rile you up for years of stealing his jokes at house parties and wishing he would show up to be your best friend. It might even inspire you to go to the petting zoo.
Tom Rhodes: Hot Sweet Ass 1. Where I'm From and What I've Seen 2. The Power of Love 3. Magnificent Sunrises 4. I Love Everything Mexican 5. Cowboys and Cadillacs 6. Arm the Teachers 7. Mix the Races 8. Random Voodoo 9. Adventures of a Comedian 10. Amsterdam Epiphanies 11. Gargantuan Advice 12. Every Man's Secret
	Tom Rhodes "Live in Paris" I grew up next door to this French kid who smelled like ear wax. That was kind of weird, but he also had a radio control helicopter and his mom's freezer always overflowed with pudding pops. And until now, I thought that was the coolest thing to ever come out of France. But now France, along with Stand Up! Records, by far out does itself - as it brings you Tom Rhodes, Live in Paris. Tom has gotten a lot out of Paris - he found his first love there, it was where he was mugged for the first time, and it was the first place where he was sprayed in the eyeballs with pepper spray. Now he gets to play the final night at the Hotel du Nord, setting of the famous French movie of the same name, and known as their equivalent to our Casablanca. Live in Paris is more of a semi-sober conversation between a worldly man with a touch of a Southern drawl on a well deserved stage and a group of the drunken literate, than it is the usual stand up performance. Rhodes blows minds with his effortlessly quick wit as he converses with his attentive audience about the joy of watching women’s tennis, forming complex metaphors about white people, cigarettes, and make-up sex, and in discussing his early fight against the elasticity of his someday elderly scrotum. Tom is no stranger to comedy as he hosted a late night talk show in Amsterdam for two years and then went on to host his very own travel show where he gained a world perspective that few are lucky to acquire. Live in Paris grants us access into Tom’s said worldly insight as he shares with us his cynical charm and his desire to bless the world, one drop of holy water into a stripper’s ass at a time. And with more one liners than a 19 year old trying to get into a girl’s bikini on spring break, Live in Paris warrants multiple listens to truly appreciate its comedic mastery. When you purchase Live in Paris, you are not just getting a lifetime of laughs, you are also helping a man live out his dream – allowing Tom to both fuel his alcoholism and feed his need to be at the center of attention. Help a brother out.
Tom Rhodes: Live in Paris 1. Karel Beer Intro 2. Living in Amsterdam / Moving Back to America 3. Muslim Girlfriend 4. The World Today 5. Why I Love Black People / Smoking and Drinking6. Why I Love Canada / Why I Love Peru 7. My History with Paris 8. Why I Love China / Why I Love Australia 9. Why I Love Florida 10. Lightnin’ Rhodes 11. Hooray for Love! 12. Passport to Freakyland 13. Why I Love England 14. Why Dutch People are My Favorite 15. Why I Love Ireland 16. Taxi Driver Genius 17. Music Sweet Music